Slices of Life Leaving worry behind

Slices of Life

Leaving worry behind

By Jill Pertler

“Don’t worry be happy.”

Great advice. Easy to give; hard to live.

Am I right?

We all worry. It’s an unavoidable part of life.

We know we probably shouldn’t. We know it isn’t pleasant. We understand it doesn’t benefit us in any way.

Yet we succumb.

I think worry is a default in many situations. And it often stems from love.

You love your kids, so you worry about them. You love your job, so you worry your position might be eliminated. You love your spouse and you worry about their well-being. You love your parents and you worry about them growing older. You love yourself so you worry about those extra pounds you recently gained. You love your pet and woe the fact that their lives are so short. You love vacations, but worry about a flight delay. You love your best friend, but worry about the life choices they are making. You love your new home, but worry about the mortgage payments or the potential need for a new roof.

And so on and so forth.

We think – we believe – worry is simply a necessary part of life.

And that begets worrying. Because we worry about worrying too much.

This is how I lived much of my life. In a circuitous cycle of worry, and worrying about worrying.

Because I have so many people and things in my life that I love.

But I read something the other day that made me pause. It was a passage about worrying. And, basically, it said that worrying only serves to rehearse your potential problems - causing you to needlessly relive them over and over again –  before they ever have the chance to happen.

In essence, worry brings to light the worst case scenario prior to it ever being the worst case scenario.

Talk about a eureka moment. I had one, right then.

Why would I (or anyone for that matter) cause themselves undo suffering, imbalance or discomfort by worrying about something that may not ever become a reality?

Easier said than done.

But, as they say, awareness is the first step to change, growth and healing. Worrying thwarts all three of those.

It paralyzes us, making us unable to change. It forces us into old thinking, stunting any growth. It repeats old, tired thoughts, that impact our health and well-being.

It is succinctly put: a waste of time.

I have worried about this and that and everything in-between all my life. I will probably continue to do so on some level, because it’s hard to be completely worry-free.

But I’m going to try.

I don’t want to relive negativity before it even happens. I don’t want to manufacture the possibility of negativity. I don’t want my thoughts to draw it to me.

But sometimes my mind has a mind of its own and when and if worry does happen, in real time, I’ll deal with it.

I think, perhaps, the antithesis to worry is gratitude. If you are wont to worry, as most of us are, perhaps a spoonful of thankfulness will make the worry go away.

It can’t hurt, and likely will help.

For that, I’m grateful. And I’m not going to spend even one minute worrying about it one way or another. 

Well, maybe just one minute - or two. But I’ll make it quick.

I promise.

(Jill Pertler is an award-winning syndicated columnist, published playwright, author and member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. Don’t miss a slice; follow the Slices of Life page on Facebook.)