Influencers

Influencers

By Mark Leitheiser

Recently, I started reading a book in which very successful people speak of the influences key individuals had on their lives. This hardly came as a surprise; most of us can look back and point to countless individuals who helped influence and shape our lives, particularly in our early years.

Still, this got me thinking. Today, young people often turn to their computers for guidance when making important decisions. They eagerly go to platforms such as TikTok, Instagram and YouTube to connect with “influencers” who supposedly help guide them through their challenging teenage years.

This is where it gets a little bit foggy for me because these ghosts, hidden behind a computer screen, are handed the power to shape society’s attitudes and beliefs with their own ideas and personal agendas without ever stepping foot into our lives. More troubling, they make money with their influence -  sometimes a lot of it - in many different ways.

The big one, of course, is their follower count. The more people that follow them, the more money they make. They also sell their influential souls to large companies where they promote brand sponsorships. They can make even more money through ad revenue, merchandise products and so on.

I have no problem if people want to make a buck or two but what bothers me is what does and does not drive these internet shadows. Clearly, their first priority is not the well-being of our children. They do prioritize making money and pushing their personal agendas and they are more than happy to do it.

Now, in fairness to today’s influencers, we had our own influencers back in the day, but we didn’t call them influencers. We referred to them as parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and priests, neighbors and friends. Yes, these folks and many others were influencers in our lives but there was one important difference when compared to today’s influencers: they couldn’t have cared less about money, social status or personal platforms; they were concerned about our well-being.

For most of us, our first and most important influencers were our parents. They made it their business to model and encourage lives of integrity and service to others. They worked hard to provide food for the table and a warm bed at night. They knew they would never be rich but that was rarely the goal anyway. Our first influencers, our parents, taught us the value of work ethic, discipline and sacrifice. You’d be hard pressed to find better influencers than our parents.

Another group of powerful influencers were called teachers. They modeled and helped us learn the “Golden Rule,” “Do unto others as you would . . .” These patient angels touched our lives every day from kindergarten to graduation. In fact, their lessons of patience, forgiveness and of course, sharing, still influence our lives today. The lasting influence of teachers cannot be overstated.

For many of us, coaches, too, were key influencers. Their work showed us that life isn’t always fair. They helped us see the value of perseverance, hustle, and teamwork. Things may be a little different today, but back then, our coaches taught us that not everyone got a trophy. This certainly rang true with me. I didn’t need a trophy case; I needed a participation ribbon case. Of course, this was sometimes unpleasant, but the wise and steady influence of my coaches helped me see that life isn’t always fair and life’s real trophies cannot be held in a case.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I suspect it takes a village to influence a child as well. Villages are made up of people we call friends and neighbors and they were active influencers in our lives too. Few individuals held greater sway in our lives than our friends. Their acceptance, caring and confidentiality influenced us then and continue to influence us today.

Neighbors, who were usually our friends’ parents were strong influencers as well. Often, they were our acting parents when we would stop by to play. When we were hungry, they fed us. When we were hurt, they comforted us. When we needed discipline, they gave it to us, with our parents’ full support! (Trust me on this one.) Friends and neighbors were critical influencers in the village of our childhood but there were others as well.

Pastors and priests were obvious influencers when it came to our spiritual lives. Their guidance through Sunday School, Christmas programs, Catechism, Confirmation, and communion was a strong and guiding hand in our spiritual development.

That hand could also discipline. Once, when Yours truly was screwing around in Catechism class, my pastor hauled me to his office and placed his hand on his phone. He didn’t even have to make the call. My face must have turned white. He flashed the smile of a winner and snapped his fingers, sending me back to class where I didn’t make another peep. He and I both knew that had he made that call, I wouldn’t have been able to sit for a week. Now that’s influence!

There were many other influencers in our young lives such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, bosses, colleagues, counselors and so on but somehow this list seems incomplete without a nod to our pets. Humans certainly have their places as influencers, but can anything influence us more on a bad day than a wagging tail, a puppy kiss or a kitten’s purr? How many of today’s influencers would be willing to curl up in your lap, give you a sloppy kiss or play fetch to make you feel better on a rotten day? Perhaps today’s best influencers have paws, not hands or feet.

I haven’t quite finished my book but it’s clear that “influencers” have impacted lives for a long time. I worry that today’s internet influencers don’t have our children’s best interests in mind but you’ll have to decide for yourself. Don’t let me influence you!